Saturday, December 5, 2009

SELF-HELP: Being Right Isn't Most Important Thing when it Comes to Your Significant Other

by James Kent

Many couples get into heated arguments with the only real purpose on being right, this is really the wrong approach. Remember that arguments are not really an effective communication method, but more two people making their point. The major purpose should be to maintain the harmony in the relationship rather than being right. In the heat of an argument its highly unlikely that the other person will be receptive to your point of view. Some research has even shown that when the heart is beating 100 times or more the other person will be physically unable to hear you. In my opinion the only real ways to end an argument on good terms are walk away, let down your viewpoint or find a way to change the argument into a calm discussion.

Walking away will not initially be a popular decision by the other party, but stick to your guns and remember someone can only argue by themselves for so long. Letting go of your viewpoint is another excellent piece of advice its highly unlikely that your get the other person to see your point of view in the heat of an argument. If you are prepared to let go of your point of view it is likely that the argument will end. The final option is both the most effective and the hardest to achieve. The best way to attempt this without conceding your viewpoint is to use repair attempts. Make the other person aware that you understand their concerns and assure them we will discuss this when we are both calm. Another option is to turn away from anger and towards love, use affection and say something like “we do not need to do this now, just come and hug me”.